War inside
Sometimes I feel exhausted due to overthinking about every detail in my life, from my kids and their needs, my home, my spouse, and finally myself.
When someone blames me for whatever I do I feel irritating and the war has started inside my brain, sometimes I blame myself too, and other times I find excuses and accept my mistake, and I tell “it is ok to do wrong ” the important thing now is to take action to fix it.
someday my son was tired and I gave him the medicine but I forgot his next dose and I start to blame myself and how I do that? then I remember it changes nothing.
I want my son to become independent but sometimes I don’t have the patience to teach him what to do in small steps.
I want my son to talk politely and in a lower voice even though I talk to him loudly.
I want my relationship with my husband to be more closer even though I can’t create quality time
I want my health to be better than in the past and I can’t find time for preparing healthy food for myself and eating my kid’s leftovers.
In all these cases I feel having two of me who are fighting together, I feel there was a war inside and I feel confused, I can’t think properly too, I feel the world is against me then I know I need to find a way to stop these negative thoughts and calm down.
Sometimes I feel needing help, but I know if I ask for it it won’t be done as I want, so I learn if I need help I ask the right person first for doing the mission I want to help with it.
I mostly read about delegation and I can’t do all things all the time but I rarely do this, I used this tip when I was so tired only. When I feel good, I learn to set my priorities.
When I feel a little bit tired or I don’t have the energy to do my duties I start from the most important one and skip everything can be delayed.
Our brain finds excuses and justifications to make us feel satisfied with what we do but the truth is we must take responsibility for our actions when I say I don’t have time to prepare a healthy meal I must say I have to create time for my health I don’t want to be the last person in my list, so we can start with small steps to make our brain become organized, calm, and focus. according to these steps, the war inside our brain will be ended.
My pencil and my notebook are my friends now, I write everything I want, my dreams, my to-do list, and my negative feelings too.
Finally, I started to create a plan a small one I don’t want to dream big as I usually did, I started to put goals week by week this way makes me feel better and concentrated.
Sometimes, I can’t finish my weekly plans, in the past, I feel disappointed but now I feel more achievable and flexible, but the important thing to me when I delayed something is putting a “deadline” to be more responsible for it.
The inner conflict is because of high expectations and small effort with no continuous too, so if we lower our expectations plus do more effort then we feel better, achieve, confident and finally, the war becomes ease and you feel a little bit free from a guilty continuous feeling.
